If work feels overwhelming today for you, take a moment to consider how long it took to get here.
For many of us, it was weeks, months, or years of taking on a little more, giving up a little more, compromising a little more, and losing ourselves along the way. Work took up more of our life, and every disappointment, demand, or difficult interaction started to feel heavier.
Feedback about our work started to feel like criticism about our character. And if that sounds true, it might be a sign that your Identity and Career have become quite entangled (or fused as I call it).
But here’s the thing… you probably did not arrive here overnight, none of us really do. This isn’t about a single bad interaction (although that might have been what set you off to read this blog…) but it’s about a repeated set of interactions over a longer period of time that grinds us down.
So please, give yourself room for the possibility that finding your way out will take time, too.
When the pressure feels enormous, it is easy to imagine that relief requires an equally enormous change, like quitting your job. Sometimes a bigger change is necessary, for sure. But there are smaller steps you can try while you figure that out.
After all, it’s nearly impossible to look for a new job and interview well, when you’re so emotionally and mentally drained.
What put the most pressure on me this week?
At the end of your week, take a few minutes to write down the highlights and the lowlights of the week. A very simple reflection in a journal or your notes app.
Start with what went well. Even in a stressful week, there may have been a good conversation, a piece of work you enjoyed, or a moment when you felt like yourself. Those moments, no matter how small, are just as important. Sometimes in a week of pure chaos those tiny glimmers can be all that’s keeping us afloat.
Then look at where you felt the most pressure. Be specific. What happened, and why did it create so much strain? (The why here is very very important, because it can point to patterns.)
Maybe feedback arrived so late that you spent an evening making changes. Maybe you accepted another request without clarifying which existing priority it should replace. Maybe you spent hours polishing something that was already good enough.
You do not need to investigate every problem. Pick one source of pressure and ask: Is there one small thing I could do differently next week that might change the outcome?
The entire goal is not to let that one pressure repeat itself.
That might mean arranging an earlier review, clarifying a trade-off before taking on more work, or checking what “finished” needs to look like before spending another hour on a task.
Choose something small enough to actually try.
When you pick the thing to do, if it feels too big, break it down into an even smaller chunk until it’s something you can accomplish.
Did the change give me any relief?
At the end of the following week, come back to the thing you tried.
- Did it relieve any pressure?
- Did it work differently from what you expected?
- Was it easy enough to repeat?
- Is there anything you need to adjust?
If it helped, consider how to keep it going. If it did not, that is okay too. Maybe the change needs adjusting. Maybe you have discovered that the constraint sits somewhere you cannot change on your own. Remember we need to focus on things that are in our control and not out of our control.
The point is to learn from the attempt and choose your next step. You are not responsible for fixing an entire workplace through better personal habits.
And as always, none of this means you are the problem… we’re just trying to gain some space.
What if I keep waiting for things to settle down?
“It will get better after this project.”
“I just need to get through this month.”
“Next quarter will be different.”
Sometimes a busy period really does end. But if you have been repeating the same promise for months or years, it is worth asking what will actually change when that deadline passes this time.
Without a change in the conditions creating the pressure, the relief you are waiting for may never arrive. Instead, the workload you thought was temporary can become your new baseline.
Then it is one more project, one more quarter, or one more year. The time keeps passing, and you keep putting off the moment when you get some of yourself back.
That is why I encourage this small weekly practice. Reflect, make one change, and return to what happened.
One adjustment may give you only a little breathing room. But protecting what helps and making another small adjustment gives you something to build on. At the end of a month or a quarter, you can look back at what has actually changed, what still needs attention, and what your next step needs to be.
You do not have to know the whole way out to take the next small step.
