Humans were never meant to fit inside boxes.
That becomes especially clear when the box we are trying to stay in was shaped by a family, a workplace, or a set of expectations that never quite reflected who we were or who we have grown to be.
You may have spent years chasing a dream in your career that never belonged to you, it almost seemed like if you reached the end you’d finally be able to get out of the box.
At one point, you wanted the title, the recognition, the salary, or the prestige. And sure, maybe those things genuinely mattered to you or helped you build a life you needed at the time.
But your life can change, does change, DID change. But that box you started your career in? You’re still in it…
But you’ve worked so hard to get to where you are today that trying to leave feels like it’s not even an option! So all you’re left to ask is…
Am I allowed to want something different now?
Am I allowed to change what matters to me?
Yes!!!! You are allowed to explore something else. You are allowed to reconsider what you want from your work and what place you want it to hold in your life. You’re allowed to change anything you want.
Sometimes we keep chasing a goal that belongs to a context that no longer exists. We are still working toward the life we imagined years ago, even though the person pursuing it now has different priorities, responsibilities, passions, needs, or interests.
Maybe you once wanted to lead a large team and imagined yourself climbing the corporate ladder. But now you want more time doing things outside of work and living a life worth living. Maybe a prestigious title used to feel important, but you are becoming more interested in what your days actually feel like.
That does not mean the earlier goal was necessarily wrong (I mean maybe it was). It means you get to ask whether it still belongs in your future.
If you have written a Career Constitution, this is one reason it needs to remain amendable. Your understanding of yourself should have room to grow with you.
What about all the time I have already invested?
“I have put so many years into this. I cannot start over now!!”
There is a name for the pull of that reasoning: the sunk cost effect, where having already invested time, money, or effort makes us more inclined to continue. Arkes and Blumer’s research describes this tendency.
In a career, it can sound like an obligation to keep moving in the same direction because changing course would make everything before it a waste.
Right?
But you do not necessarily have to throw that experience away. You have skills, knowledge, relationships, and a history of navigating situations that may help you build something different. Your career so far can become a launching pad into something bigger and better for you. Every experience you’ve been through in your career adds to the shape of who you are. The only work that’s left to do is the translation and application of that into something different.
Some transitions will require creativity, for sure. Some will require further education or training. Some may involve a step back in income, seniority, or familiarity while you build toward something else.
But that’s the fun of it… that’s the point… that’s what life is about.
What do I actually want from my life now?
Your next step might still be a promotion. It might be a different company, a better position, or more money.
Or you might want to become a plumber, create art, coach people, work as a trainer, become a pet sitter, or go back to school to become a veterinarian.
There is no single outcome this reflection is supposed to produce. The question is what you want your life to look like and how your work fits into it.
And more important… what gives your life meaning?
Ask yourself just a few questions…
- What am I working toward today?
- Why does that goal matter to me now?
- What has changed since I first chose it?
- Where does this path support the life I want, and where does it pull me away from it?
These are deeply personal questions. Your finances, the people who depend on you, your capacity, and your responsibilities all belong in the picture. So do any qualifications, licenses, or additional skills a different path might require.
You can acknowledge those realities while still giving yourself permission to explore.
Can I explore a different direction while keeping my job?
You do not need to make the entire decision at once.
You can keep your current job while protecting some time outside work to investigate something that feels more aligned with who you are. Start learning what building a life around it might actually involve.
Who could you talk to? Who already does this work? What could they tell you about an ordinary day, the difficult parts, or the route they took to get there? What could you try on a small scale? What skill could you begin developing?
I mean… you could literally start an entire social media channel dedicated to you LEARNING about this new thing. Posting about your journey and experience to document what it’s like to explore something entirely different.
And why not?
One conversation, a small project, or an introductory class can give you something concrete to reflect on. You might become more interested. You might discover that you enjoy an activity but want it to remain a hobby. You might find a way to bring more of it into the career you already have.
Each of those discoveries helps you understand your options.
We can put so much pressure on ourselves to make a dramatic, transformational move that we overlook the smaller steps available today. You are allowed to explore, test, learn, and adjust as you go.
You…Are…Allowed…To…Change!
Any decision you made about your life in the past is something you are allowed to reconsider today. Whatever you decide today, you are allowed to change your mind tomorrow, next month, next year, five years from now, or a decade from now.
Because at the end of the day, it’s your life, and you have to live it.
