What the F*ck is happening?
If you've ever sat in a meeting, nodded along, and thought that exact phrase, then this is for you.
If you've ever gone home after a day of being ignored, undermined, or managed by someone who had no idea what they were doing, and questioned whether you were the problem, then this is for you.
If you've ever been so burned out that getting out of bed felt like a negotiation with yourself, then this is for you.
I see you. I've been you. And I built something for you.
In 2013 I was finishing my undergraduate degree in Psychology when I came across a word I couldn't stop thinking about.
Innervate. The process by which nerves connect to and activate each other. One nerve finding another. Transmitting something essential. Making something that was dormant suddenly come alive.
I bought the domain that day. I was 20-something, had no idea what I was building, but I knew, the way you just know certain things, that one day it would matter. I held onto that domain for 13 years.
That's how long it took for the idea to catch up to the calling.
I spent those 13 years building a career in tech. I climbed fast. I learned to navigate the system, and not because someone taught me, but because I paid very close attention to how it actually worked versus how people pretended it worked.
Here's what I noticed:
Promotions don't go to the most deserving. They go to the most visible, the most politically connected, the ones who understood the unwritten rules that nobody would say out loud.
Pay raises don't reward hard work. They reward leverage and knowing when to ask, how to ask, and what you're actually worth in a market that would rather you never found out.
Leaders are often promoted into their positions of power with no formal training, guidance, or direction.
Companies believe that if they build a profitable business, it will take care of the people (this is an anti-pattern for success).
Most of the really bad behaviors that create toxic work environments are completely unintentional and a self-activating loop.
People are wholly unaware that there is a better way forward
The closer to the top you get, the more clearly you see it: employees are variables in math equations. Not maliciously, in most cases. Just... unconsciously. Leaders operate inside systems that were never designed with people at the center, and most of them have never been given the tools to do it differently.
I stood in meetings, watched decisions get made, and thought… “What the f*ck is happening?”
Not in anger. In genuine confusion. And eventually, in grief. Standing around realizing that this can’t be possibly the right way.
As I myself stepped into more leadership positions, I went back to school to become a better leader.
I got my Masters of Social Work (MSW) because I wanted to better understand systems, power dynamics, and how privilege and oppression operate inside organizations. How the same dynamics that show up in families and communities show up in companies, just with different language and better catering. I also got to intern as a real therapist, working with real clients including individuals, couples, and a group.
I spent my research looking at a gap nobody talks about: social workers show up everywhere in our society, in hospitals, schools, prisons, communities. But almost never in careers and corporate culture (when’s the last time you saw a tech company hire a social worker to help with organizational design?). And careers are one of the most identity-defining, life-shaping experiences a person will ever have. We spend more waking hours in our work lives than almost anywhere else. The psychological impact of a toxic work environment is a human problem.
My therapy clients showed me this in ways I'll never forget. Session after session, the common thread wasn't relationship problems or family trauma (though those were present too)… It was work.
It was the boss who made them feel small.
It was the culture that slowly convinced them they were the problem.
It was the burnout that had crept so deep they couldn't remember who they were before it started.
It was the sinking feeling that they would never get ahead
it was the learned helplessness and the hopelessness that they were stuck forever
I sat with people in that pain. And I knew, one day, I had to do something with what I was seeing.
As I continued my career after my program, I too eventually burned out.
After years of absorbing the dysfunction while performing at a high level, I left a leadership role I'd worked hard to get. I told myself I'd take three months off and go find another leadership role in tech. You know… keep playing the game.
During that sabbatical I reopened my mentorship program. Just to help. Because helping is what fuels me, it always has been.
What I found in those sessions changed everything.
People weren't just looking for career advice. They were looking for someone to finally acknowledge the truth of what they were living through. Abusive bosses. Layoffs that came out of nowhere. Careers that felt like they belonged to someone else. Burnout so deep it had started to feel like a personality trait.
I sat with them in it. And then we got to work.
I started pulling apart everything that had made me successful… why I was able to move fast, why I was able to navigate the system, how I'd built a career to well over $300K in a field where most people have no idea what they're actually worth. I tore it apart looking for the pattern.
What I found was a through-line.
Here's what I believe — and what I've now seen proven session after session:
Every one of us has a through-line. A thread that runs through everything, your career, your hobbies, your relationships, the moments you felt most alive, and the moments you felt most diminished. When you excavate all of it, when you look at your values and your patterns and your history honestly, you arrive at an intersection. A place that is uniquely, undeniably yours.
That intersection is your edge.
Not a personal brand. Not a LinkedIn headline. An actual competitive advantage built from everything you've been through, including the hard parts. Especially the hard parts.
When you lead from that edge, everything changes. Career decisions get clearer. Toxic situations become more navigable and not because they magically improve, but because you know exactly what you will and won't accept.
You stop shrinking to fit spaces that were never designed for you.
You start building something that's actually yours.
Innervates exists to walk that journey with you.
The name still means what it meant in 2013: the activation of something that was always there, waiting for the right connection.
I bring over 15 years of navigating the corporate chaos. An MSW with real clinical experience. Training in values and strengths based work. My own healing from a system that tried to make me smaller. And an absolute refusal to pretend the game isn't rigged while also refusing to let that be the end of your story.
The system is broken. That's true. And you still have to live and build a career inside it. Both of those things are true at the same time, and most people giving career advice are only willing to say one of them.
I’m ready to say the quiet parts out loud
If you're ready to do the work, here's where to start:
Career Coaching: a time-boxed coaching engagement with a start, an end, and a personal operating model you keep forever. No dependency. Just clarity. Learn more →
Leadership Training: for leaders who are ready to build something better than what they inherited. Learn more →
Not sure yet? Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together where you are and what you need. Book a call →
You've been asking "what the f*ck is happening" long enough.
Let's find out… and then let's build something better… together
